surviving twin starts school

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

Well, today is Holly's first day at school. I know at some point i'm going to break down, it' such a major milestone and i can't put into words how much i wish Ben was here to be sharing this day. It reminds me just how lucky i am to have Holly too, and how thankful i am to have my mischievous girl! It's so painful. I'd worried about what to do once i leave school this morning-go home to cry or go to the cemetry to cry, friends had suggested rallying around for a coffee but has it happens it's been taken out of my hands. I may be looking too much into this but i'm hoping it's a sign. My decision to go to college and uni was inspired by Ben, my first choice uni is Leeds, but on the day i should be taking Ben to school i am doing what i wouldnt be doing had he been here and going to the open day at Leeds University. (so i need to hold the tears, don't know if that's a good or bad thing). So...here goes, off to get Holly up and ready... (i'll try and post a piccy). Ben, my precious little man, gorgeous baby boy, not a single day passes when you arnt in my thoughts, i love and miss you so much. I'm so glad to have you in my life, i just wish things were different and you were here, a happy, healthy boy starting school with your twin sister Holly. You are the bravest boy i know, my brave little fighter, my inspiration. Love you darling, too loved to ever be forgotton, with me always X

[Belles Mummy]

Oh Kim I hope today is gentle on you and visiting uni in leeds helps you to feel the positive steps you are making in honor of your beautiful brave ben, I hope Holly's first day is exciting and fun for her, Ben will watch over and you today as he loves you so muchm

Be strong and know that we are thinking of you xxxx

[mum2evan+dyfan]

oh Kim you have me in tears.
i wish with all my heart you were taking both your twins to start school.  what i really do believe is that Ben is with Holly and that misheivious part of her has a lot to do with him!  he'll be with her today i'm positive.
have fun in uni!  you are an amazing person and an even more amazing mum.  and i think you having to go to uni today is ben's sign to you that you have something to help occupy your mind while he looks after holly in school.

all my love
Kathxxx

[Alison - Lucys Mammy]

Oh Kim I really dont know what to say..... sending you all our love today - I wish so much that Ben was here to share this special day with Holly and you all...... I am sure he will be so close to you today and Holly of course.... I hope she too has lots of fun on her first day 

[Susan - Tobias & Tanesha's Mummy]

Kim, thinking of you today and your beautiful twins Ben & Holly, sending huge hugs your way
 ((((( Kim ))))))
 
   

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

thankyou, your replies mean so much. The uni is next door to the hospital, so many memories today.

[mum2evan+dyfan]

wow first day at school, uni and being close to the hospital.  ben sure made sure you were made of strong stuff today.  he knows he had his courage from his mummy.
i'm proud of you as i'm sure ben and his sisters are

Kathxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  kim you have had me in tears i wish i could hug you right now xxx you are so srtrong ben will be so proad x

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

I need to make myself cry. You know when you push away the tears too much? If i don't they will come when i least expect. I had to leave both Holly and Lucy crying at school today...all i could think was why couldn't i be leaving 3 crying...but still i won't/can't seem to let these tears flow. Thankyou for the kind words, you've made me realise i am actually stronger than i thought, when i feel i'm going backwards i've actually come along way x

[marie~elises mummy]