need some advice

[mummy of twin angels]

Im not sure if this is appropriate to post here? im so sorry if i upset anyone....
im at absolute rock bottom.....since loosing the twins my daughter is everything to me, and i would walk on hot coals to make her happy.  As im sure u all would.  My partners son came to live with us a while ago, and has been a nightmare since.....the usual teenager stuff, but no matter how hard i try he hates me.  I recently found letters he as written saying he wishes my daughter was dead, and that the twins are better off dea because im such a horrible person!? he is awful towards my daugther and me....

I know ur all gonna think hes jealous, and probs feel sorry for him cause hes been uprooted from his mums etc (she didnt want him) but i cant explain just how much attention he gets - its always about him.....he steals, he lies, he swears and is just generally horrible!

But has touched a nerve with me by writing that letter....how dare he!? how could they ever be better off dead than alive! :-(
I want him out our house but his mum doesnt want him either....i dont want my partner to choose between us all, but i cant live like this anymore....if e ever hurt my daughter i dont know wat id do!

Sorry to rant, but need some advice..

Charlotte xx

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

Charlotte, No amount of disruption in his life will justify his writing something like that, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to read it 

Have you spoke to your partner about the letter and how uncomfortable it is making you feel?

Of course your twins are not better off dead, I have no doubt you are a wonderful mummy but this boy clearly has problems. I don't think it is your place to sort them out. I completely understand you not wanting him in your house, but I think you need to tell your partner all this if you haven't already.

Obviously I don't know him but I can't imagine him hurting your daughter, It is most likely jealousy and frustration causing him to act out this way, I know that won't make it easier on you. Perhaps you could suggest counselling for him or maybe family counselling to try and get the bottom of why he does the things he does. He might have written those letters for you to 'find' as another way to hurt you without really meaning what he wrote 

I will hope you can find some way of sorting this out

 

[suzanne]

  such a horrible hateful thing to say/write. you say he is a teenager, what age is he exactly? i agree with mel, you should speak to your partner. have you shown him the letter or told him about it? this lad sounds like one very mixed up kid but i agree with you that your daughter is your 1st priority. god forbid that he would harm your child. i would speak to your partner a.s.a.p!!  as for the horrid things he said about your beautiful twins, you know its not true. he has just found an awful way of hurting you. 

[Belles Mummy]

I agree with the other ladies talk to your parner I hope you can resolve things, I t must have been horrible to read that and of corse they would never be better off dead 

[xxkayyxx]

No matter what this lad has been through it still does not condone his behaviour-you have been through more than him and I hope he never has to go through what we have. I agree with the other ladies-talk with your partner and tell him what you have read and  how much it has upset you and that something needs to be done. He does sound very jealous-probably because he feels aboned by his mother maybe? I take it you have a great relationship with your daughter.
Hun I wish your twins were here with you and they are not better off dead and I bet you are a great mum.
I wish I could help more but not been in this position but if I was you I'd talk to my partner.
Lots of love
 

[mummy of twin angels]

Thankyou for your advice :-) I have spoken to my partner and he was as disgusted about it as i was! His mum had him from Friday night to Sunday.....i needed that time to calm down.  We have gone through all the other options, my partner moving out with his son, his son going back to his mums?? but none of those can happen; we both want to be together with our daughter, and his sons mother doesnt want him back? I think having his dad alone is maybe what he is after, so we have agreed to try to create more time for them alone? But in the meantime, i am not letting him alone with my daughter just incase!? I feel horrible for feeling like it but glad u all feel its justified too? Maybe he does feel lost? so we have taken him to the doctors to organise counselling, and also they have suggested testing him for ADHD, and even mentioned a spilt personality disorder? NICE! Just what we need! :-(

But for now anyways, we are going to just make sure we stick together and try and work out wots wot! Like you say, i think maybe he wrote them for me to find? maybe to hurt me, or it was out of jealousy? Thanks again for ur advice xx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]