twoplustwo
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« on: January 15, 2010, 10:09:27 PM » |
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My babies died due to undiagnosed acute TTTS at 20 weeks, they were born on the 3rd September 2009. Friday 8th January 2010, The date my precious twins were due, it should have been such an exciting day. Instead I'm left with a sad and empty feeling that makes me feel sick. Instead I'm left with the memories of the precious 5 months I held my babies safe and warm inside. The memories of holding their tiny bodies in the palm of my hands, singing them a lullaby and saying goodbye. The grief of losing my babies, giving birth to my angels, that's not what being a mummy should hold. I spend the days with my other 2 precious little ones, reminding me what I'm missing. I light their white candles in their memory and think about my babies, I hope they are safe and warm. Mummy thinks about you all the time and loves you so very much, stay close and one day we will be together xxxx
Alex and Emma - 3rd September 2010
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mel - jakesangelmummy
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« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2010, 10:15:46 PM » |
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Many  to you. Im so sorry you had to face the girls due date without them with you. It so unfair thinking of you, Alex and Emma 
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ConniesMammy.
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my little cherub.x.
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« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2010, 11:19:52 PM » |
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Alex and Emma i hope you know just how much your mammy loves and misses you im sure you do,and give your mam lots of love and hugs cos no mam should have to be without their babies on their due date.  So sorry my love. 
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chelle.ellis
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« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2010, 08:12:10 AM » |
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Not got many words at the minute, just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you and sending you  , Michelle x
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GillyF
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My lark. My angel. My boy.
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« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2010, 03:13:49 PM » |
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I wish I could find words to comfort you, but there aren't any, I know, so all I can say is that I'm so sorry to hear you lost your little girls and that we are here for you any time your need support.
Take care, Gilly
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twoplustwo
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« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2010, 07:01:13 PM » |
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Thank you all for your kind words and hugs. It feels so empty every day, knowing my babies should have been here. Lots of people seem to have forgotten already what I've lost, but I will always feel the sadness and loss. Your kind words bring some comfort. Thank you xxx
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GillyF
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My lark. My angel. My boy.
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« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2010, 09:35:22 PM » |
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Lots of people seem to have forgotten already what I've lost, but I will always feel the sadness and loss.
Sadly, there are so many people who have expressed these sentiments here before you. What's really important is that you don't let them make you feel you are wrong in any way. Isolated, it's very easy for you to question yourself and to feel guilty. Don't, they are the ones lacking tact and empathy, and sadly there will always be an enormous hole left in your life. Deepest sympathies. Gilly
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mogpce1
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« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2010, 09:41:32 PM » |
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BIG HUGs to you. Today is my angel Olivia's 6th birthday in heaven and I am finding it tough. I wish I had some inspired words for you but I don't. Just know we are all thinking of you.
Catherine. Mummy to Emily - 4 years old Mummy to be - 29wks
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Olliemam+1
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xxxxx.
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« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2010, 08:23:12 PM » |
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Thinking of you all xxxxx.  Life is so s unfair. Take care Dawn xxxxx. 
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Belles Mummy
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« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2010, 10:48:37 AM » |
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Thinking of you 
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twoplustwo
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« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2010, 07:29:43 PM » |
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It's been a really tearful day today.
Sorry but here comes and information download!! The hospital made a huge error and at our 12 week scan we were told we were expecting non-identical twins, which put us at a relatively low risk (especially early on) of anything going wrong, i was therefore left to get on with my pregnancy until the 20 week scan. At 15 weeks the midwife heard both heartbeats, then 2 days before my 20 weeks scan I didn't feel right and went to out of hours doctors on a bank holiday, where I found out my babies had passed away. After my babies were born (when I only delivered on placenta), the pathology report stated that my babies were identical twins and had one placenta and one sac. The cause of death was recorded as acute (sudden) TTTS.
The diagnosis of non-identical twins at the first scan wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome as nothing could have been done to save my babies, but would have made a huge difference to the care I received (my hospitals policy would have meant fortnightly scans) and the preparations we could have made for ourselves and our other two little ones, as the risks would have been far greater and identified to us.
I feel so angry that the level of care is all dependant on one scan by one sonograher. we had an experienced sonographer who obviously made a mistake, I have been trying to get some more information from the hospital about how this could have happened. Today I received a very wishy washy email from a medical secretary, who basically said nothing and passed the buck again. I hate the way the hospital staff treat me and babies, like their death is so unimportant. Thanks for listening but feel so angry!!
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ConniesMammy.
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« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2010, 10:56:38 PM » |
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Of course you feel angry your hospital has neglected you and your babies and is not doing anything about it,you deserve more than that and so do your girls. I also went unnoticed in a different way but my Connie had a Diaphragmatic Hernia and this should have been picked up on my if not 12week then deffinately my 20week and along with my prevoious history i was not cared for adequately,but i still feel to this day that had they noticed it nothing would have changed and the out come would still have been the same,and other babies and their mammys are still going to go through what i went through  . It doesnt make the pain any easier to bear either. I am sorry your girls are not here wit hyou and that you have been treated this way,but please remember we are all here for you whenever you need us. 
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